This 2023...Focus on What Brings Joy to Your Soul

This 2023...Focus on What Brings Joy to Your Soul

Sunday, January 29, 2023

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2022 was an eventful year for me. From having a baby to my struggles as a full-time working mom- both at work, my business, and my personal life- there are many realizations along the way. But when it comes down to it, I realize that there's only one overarching lesson that persists through it all and that in whatever situation I'm in, every decision I come across, I make sure that I'm choosing to do things that bring joy to my soul.

You see, life is too short to make decisions that may serve everybody around you but to the expense of your already full plate and draining mental health. This is not to be selfish; I am saying so that you can always live a life that is true to yourself, which is what matters most at the end of the day and your life.

Before the end of the year, I found out that I got selected for a new position closer to where I live. And while I resisted for a long time to make changes in my work life, mainly because I like where I work and my kids(and I) are happy in their school and daycare despite the long, grueling 6-hour daily drives, I couldn't help but tell myself there must be something better than this lifestyle we've been on for years. But I was scared to make the change because it might make things too uncomfortable for my kids, and I was worried. 

But then I also knew deep inside that kids are resilient and that a change of school and daycare may devastate them initially, but they only have new experiences and friends to look forward to after all's been said and done. And they still get to keep their old friends, thanks to the beautiful world of technology. 

And why am I willing to change? I realized that while things are comfortable, deep inside, I'm hanging on to dear life to keep my sanity and health intact. I was tired. Exhausted. My mood is a rollercoaster. And I'm effing tired of trying to catch up and survive. Because of the drive, I don't have time (sometimes even to shower) to do it all over again. And for what? A micro-manager who knows nothing of your job and yet chooses to be involved in every tiny specific detail that has nothing to do with his management.

So, there's my first rant for this year.

And this year, I decided to focus on things that bring me joy...writing, spending time with family, sleeping, unapologetically getting massages, and flushing toxic people out of my life. I also just started the NP program, so I will be busy. 

A lot of changes in my blog/biz/coaching life. I'm taking a break from coaching for now as it takes so much energy.  As a mental health nurse, I feel emotionally, physically, and mentally drained from helping clients. While I feel good seeing their transformation as they process their trauma, coaching does entail you bring your whole self to the table, and it wouldn't be fair if I'm only half-ass coaching them. 

This year, I will focus on what nourishes my exhausted soul the most: bringing my creativity through writing, journaling, and journal-making. In fact, I already have one journal published in Amazon and many more to come. You can check it out here.

Ok, that's all for now.

XOXO, 

Wella

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This is why #momlife is worth it

This is why #momlife is worth it

Tuesday, November 8, 2022

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 I often talked about my son’s struggles during his first few years in school. His teacher/principal/school psychologist/other staff all didn’t wanna deal with him and won’t have him get tested despite all their complaints.

Of course they have to blame it on our lifestyle and long drive home.

E.g. he has boundaries issue/he always gets up in the middle of the class/he is often restless/does not listen.

Instead of offering help or whatever they can do about it, they instead asked me: “if you want him tested and come out with mental health issues, do you really want that stigma for your son?”

Needless to say, I had to homeschool him and move him to another school. A school that took the time to work with him and evaluate him. Thanks to the caring staff. And his pediatrician who confirmed what we thought he already had (ADHD) and immediately placed him in an IEP program.

And after a couple years of IEP coupled with CBT and yes meds, he’s finally coping well and doing well. 

Anyways, a couple months ago he started reading for 30 minutes on his own everyday when we get home at 8 PM. He said his teacher told him to read for 30 minutes a day and so he did.

And I’m surprised to get this in my inbox. So yes I’m proud of him, and he’ll prolly get a $20 Roblox gift card. And anyone is welcome to donate to his Roblox funds lol

To all mommas out there, you are your child’s biggest advocate. Always.

Also, shout out Mira Palsario thanks for the awesome tutoring which has helped Marcus a lot. Will be connecting again with you soon since I got more kids ❤️☺️🎉🎊

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Want to become part of a thriving wellness tribe?

Want to become part of a thriving wellness tribe?

Thursday, August 4, 2022

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Hi awesome reader!

 I hope you’re doing well. As for me, I’m currently recovering from Covid, and it is a pain.

Although I can say that most of my symptoms have subsided (headache, chills, fatigue, muscle and body ache, still have a nasty cough with phlegm plus diarrhea), id says the virus still took a toll on me I’m still feeling tired.

On a lighter note, having Covid kinda pushed me to really slow things down a little and just breathe (literally). Yes, I would still get irritated because our neglected home looked like a pig pen. And sometimes, I feel I am only half rested because we have five kids isolating with us (two are newborns).

But at the end of the day, I’m happy to not be at work at the moment while recovering and watching all the Netflix series I can (hello, true crime documentaries!) and binge-watch my guilty-pleasure-don’t judge-me-reality show: Cheaters lol.

Ok, so now I’m just blabbing, lol.

An Invitation for You:

Every two weeks (starting Sunday, Aug 14th @ 6 PM PST), I lead a wellness lounge/meeting for women looking to become a healthier and more balanced version of themselves.

From Chaos to Connected Tribe: Your Wellness Journey is about finding the right balance between work and play, diet and exercise, self-care and self-improvement, fitness and flexibility.

In this tribe, we are dedicated to improving your life and helping each other do the same. It’s a safe place where you can talk about your struggles and receive advice from people who want to see you succeed.

The group is about finding your true self, expressing it, and helping others do the same.

Are you ready to join? For only $1, you get to trial different tribes like Spiritual Development Essentials, Align by Design (which teaches human design), Restore Your Inner Money Guru (one of my faves, I’m an active member), and many other tribes of special interest.

Check out From Chaos to Connected Tribe here, and let me know...will I see you on August 14th @ 6 PM PST?

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You won't believe what I did

You won't believe what I did

Friday, May 13, 2022

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I did something extreme just very recently. Actually, I had this epiphany that finally came to terms with me when I finally let go and shared this with the Universe and my excellent mentor and biz coach last week. 

Side note: The coach I hired works with women transitioning their idea into a business, and I love how she specializes in helping you overcome fear. IMO fear seems too basic, yet everyone gets set back by fear and anxiety at some point. And sometimes, it’s easier to tell yourself to just get over this fear rather than actually getting over it.

Let me share a quick background: For the past few years, I’ve transitioned from becoming a health/life coach to a blogger, then back to coaching then blogging again without having much clarity on who I am helping, what I’m helping, that person with and why help her to begin with.

But then this idea in my head keeps getting louder and louder. I have been working on a group coaching program for the past 3-4 months, and I’ve put a lot of effort into it. As much as I feel aligned with the program itself because it is “me,” I still feel something is missing.

Anyways, this may shock you, so prepare yourself.

Whenever something big happens in my life or business, I HAVE to tell my readers.

This epiphany is something that really matters to me… so here I am, sharing this with you!

… Are you ready for it?

I’m taking a break from coaching.

There. I said it.

Before you start unsubscribing or throwing eggs at me, let me explain myself! I have a perfect reason behind why I decided to take a break from it.

It may go against my purpose, but here’s why I did it:

I know and absolutely believe that my passion and purpose lie in creating meaningful connections with women, especially moms like me but I feel like I’m on the wrong platform and somehow doing it the “misaligned” way.

So instead of coaching them, I want to celebrate them.

With this decision, I want to provide a platform for you, strong mom, to share your own unique story, dreams, visions, etc. w judgment or worry over wine, coffee, tea, or even freshly infused alkaline water! 

Note: I’ve always believed there’s truth in wine, and there’s something about it that allows you to relax and overcome your inhibitions. Eventually, the truth comes out when you finally feel that nothing is holding you back in your body.

Here's the thing.

I have listened to countless podcasts celebrating 6-figure-earner go-getter moms, whether they are staying at home raising kids or building their career and side hustle at the same time. I get it. They work their ass. They have connections. And that is good. Make money. Hell yes.

But I have never heard the story of the mom who is struggling to achieve what little or huge dream she has. Is this you? If so, I want to know about you, regardless of how much money you have in your bank account, whether you’re hustling or not. Whether you are starting your business, in the middle of it, or don’t’ care much for the entrepreneur life. If you have a hobby you are super passionate about, please share so.

I want to know how you’re changing diapers while setting your alarm clock @ 1:45 PM so you can take a quick 20-minute nap before you pick up your first grader with your 6-month baby in tow, all the while spending the last $20 of your budget on a Canva template tutorial so you can sell some digital products in Etsy without your so-called well-meaning family members or friends ever realizing it for fear of judgment.

I want to know how you’re waking up at 4:30 am to prep your kid’s snack, get them ready for daycare while you make time for your morning coffee, shit, and shower routine, and be out the door to beat the traffic at 5:45 am, bracing yourself for the 1.5-hour drive ahead.

I want to know how you made plans on Friday night to wake up @ 5 am on a Saturday to do some much needed Saturday morning self-care routine as it’s plastered all over your IG feed, telling you how you need that time because it is good for you (and I agree)…only to be woken up by a ready to go toddler asking you to go to the beach @ 4:59 AM.

I want to provide a sacred space for you to be vulnerable and casually ask yourself: “Will I ever get there?” There- which mean different things to different people. “There” can be a restful, uninterrupted sleep. “There" can be a business breakthrough or a profit goal you have yet to achieve. “There” can be your first sale in your business. There can simply be nailing your morning routine so your first grader can finally show up on time to school.

Because it’s ok to doubt yourself sometimes.

I doubt myself too.

I doubt myself while writing this. Is this something that the world needs? Another place to vent?

Maybe by expressing yourself (or venting, as you may call it), you are actually helping another soul, say, on the other side of the world or street?

Maybe by sharing your truth and becoming as authentic as you are in a casual convo over wine or tea or whatever, you are inspiring the next person to accept the frustrations of her life so she may learn to thrive in them instead of resisting them?

After all, this is simply an idea. But if you like it, and if you have a story you wanna share (every story I believe is worth sharing no matter how uneventful you think it is), will you let me know?

Hit reply/comment and share your brief story so you can be the first (or one of the first) in my list of amazing moms ready to share their truth.

Can’t wait!

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3 Toxic Mom Myths You Need To Break Away From Right Now

3 Toxic Mom Myths You Need To Break Away From Right Now

Friday, April 29, 2022

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Hey momma!

 

Did you ever get caught up with those Unrealistc Super Mommy goals? I know I did at some point. I gotta admit it’s always a struggle.

 

But lemme tell you about these 3 toxic myths that you break away from, especially when you just had a baby, whether you’re a brand new mom or you just had baby #7.

 

As the popular saying goes, “you are your worst enemy and best asset” so it’s time to align that mindset.

 

Myth #1: You will get your body back in X amount of time. You just need to wait and kill yourself every day at the treadmill.

 

It’s time to give yourself that grace and embrace that mombod you got. Regardless of what it looks like remember you just literally grew a human that you either pushed out of your vajay or had somebody cut you open.

 

Healthy is always better than skinny. If you know you are taking care of yourself, you’re not getting sick, you’re getting your wine on I mean green juice, then seriously stop obsessing over your voluptuous, stretch marks-fested new and improve body of yours.

 

I had someone ask me 3 months after I had this handsome boy why my tummy is still big. I’m like B*$tch please, it’s been 30-something years since your last one and yours still worse than mine. *drop the mic

 

 

Myth # 2: Motherhood is enjoyable.

 

If you’re not enjoying being a mom then so be it. Be curious about it, explore it and accept that you feel that way. No need to add this to your list of #reasons why you have mom guilt.

 

That’s why you go see a shrink, pop a Prozac, get your wine and move on. Ok I know it’s not always that ideal. But it’s ok to not enjoy this role of being a mom. It’s not ok to neglect your mental health.

 

Myth # 3: Breastfeeding is best.

 

I breastfeed my baby and supplement with formula. Why? Because I’m not a milk factory and my body can’t make enough milk to match his needs. He’s growing like crazy.

 

Some moms can’t breastfeed for certain reasons. Maybe they don’t want to. Maybe it’s just hard. And that’s ok. Again, no need to put that in your #momguiltlist

 

But just as there are so many reasons why moms can’t do it, so is the judgment. To be honest, as long as your baby is fed, that’s all that matters. Ain't nobody gonna call child protective services on you just cuz your boobies ain't hanging out feeding your baby 24/7.

 

Why is believing in these 3 myths problematic?

 

Because believing in these 3 myths will cripple you from being the mom you wanna be. Your

confidence gets affected, you don't seek guidance, and then…you know. #momguilt.

 

As someone who’s been through this 3 times plus all the stepkids I’m blessed with, I’ve been there. But as someone who helps other moms like me, I’ve seen breakthrough after breakthrough and I know that it’s not difficult. Just people don’t have the right support when it comes to #momwellness and #momselfcare.

 

They get advice from people who have their own opinion of them, then they start thinking they’re not good enough.

 

The bottom line is if you wanna be a good mom then just stop comparing yourself for once. You are the standard. Take heart and don’t doubt yourself for a second.

 

P.S. Tbh, I go off and yell at my kids when their unmedicated, sugarized behinds are all over the place. But then again, I’m just a mom tryna get through the day. Who loves her kids with all her existence..that’s all!

 

XOXO,

Wella

 

 

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